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Thursday, November 19th, 2009
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5:29 pm - Theatrical Muse Topic: What have you forgotten?
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Forgotten? What have I forgotten? Not much, or nothing at all, which is sometimes a blessing and sometimes a curse.
All the bad memories and the good, I always carry with me. The times when I was beaten and shunned and mocked for my difference, my albinism. My mother’s brutal death, and the first time I took a life – my own father’s. The harshness of the streets, of starvation and friendlessness, and later, prison. My release and my salvation. Finding someone at last who was good and kind to me, and the glorious feeling of repentance, redemption, and my acceptance of faith in the Lord. He had not forsaken me after all!
It is hard to remember the pain of the past, but it is something I know that I must do from time to time. For I must forgive those who wronged me, and be grateful for the life I have now, the second chance I was given thanks to our Heavenly Father and to Manuel Aringarosa.
Words: 169
Muse: Silas
Fandom: The Da Vinci Code
current mood:  contemplative
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| Friday, November 6th, 2009
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5:21 pm - Theatrical Muse Topic: Trick or treat
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I am a man of God, and sincere in my beliefs. Our Heavenly Father, His Son Jesus Christ and the Blessed Virgin Mary are everything to me. I live my life in accordance with the rules of Opus Dei and the Catholic Church, practicing prayer, corporal mortification and service. Christianity is not just my faith, it is my passion, more precious to me than the very breath of life in my body.
But sometimes – and perhaps this is a little sinful of me – sometimes there are fellow Christians who anger and frustrate me.
Bishop Aringarosa mentioned a preacher from another church who actually had the gall to denounce children’s trick or treating on Halloween as sinful, cultish and reminiscent of black magic!
What nonsense! All Hallows Eve is not just a holiday, but a holy day. And the little ones out on their candy-collecting excursions – it’s just innocent fun. Children need to have their fun! I never had much of it when I was a little boy, so I am in favor of anything that makes children happy.
Even a believer as intense as I am sometimes needs to say, to put it in American slang terms, “lighten up”.
Words: 201
Muse: Silas
Fandom: The Da Vinci Code
current mood:  relaxed
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| Tuesday, October 20th, 2009
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5:59 pm - Theatrical Muse Topic: Something you've outlived.
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Something I’ve outlived – or pray that I have finally outlived – is the mindless wrath I once felt too often. The anger that rose up at every perceived slight, at every rejection of me for being strange in the eyes of others. The fury I felt when others called me ghost and hated me just because of the pallor of my skin.
Wrath is one of the seven deadly sins, and it has bought me only trouble. Exile, imprisonment, terror in the eyes of those around me… I have felt so much sorrow each time when rage has got me into strife yet again.
Now I am a monk, a man of God and living a disciplined life under the guidance of Holy Mother Church and my beloved mentor, Bishop Manuel Aringarosa. Each day I pray that I can leave behind the life I once led, the life of a wretched sinner, angry at the world and with a heart full of vengeance. I wish now only to serve and to forgive.
Words: 172
Muse: Silas
Fandom: The Da Vinci Code
current mood: calm
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| Tuesday, October 6th, 2009
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6:24 pm - Theatrical Muse Topic: Collection(s)
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Since a vow of poverty is one of the vows that we monks, we numeraries of Opus Dei, have to take, collections of material things are not only forbidden, but unheard of for us. The few possessions we have are the bare necessities for our physical and spiritual needs, and even these are in truth the property of the Catholic Church.
But I suppose I do have collections of things that are not material. Memories, both good and bad, are there in my head of course. Along with ideas on how best to serve the Lord and my fellow human beings, my brothers and sisters in Christ – they’re very prominent in my thoughts, naturally.
And there are prayers that I’ve collected in my mind and memorized by heart – so many prayers, hymns and songs, all so beautiful! Just thinking, speaking or singing these glorious words of praise makes my heart soar with love and gratitude, love for God and for the entire world that is His wonderful creation.
Words: 170
Muse: Silas
Fandom: The Da Vinci Code
current mood: thoughtful
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| Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009
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8:21 pm - Theatrical Muse Topic: Wake Up
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There are so many sinful people in this world, doing so much wrong and stirring up my righteous anger.
I try to be humble and gentle, serving my fellow human beings, my brothers and sisters in Christ. I pray and practice corporal mortification. I know that wrath is sinful, and I chastise myself severely for it.
Yet still part of me screams inside, Wake up, sinners! You know neither the day nor the hour. You lie and kill and steal, you commit adultery and are not charitable to the poor. Judgement day could be around the corner and your souls could end up in the fiery pits of Hell!
I do not wish anybody to be consigned to such a fate – I want the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to be available to all. I want to see the sinful ones repent and find salvation in faith.
I want them to wake up!
Words: 155
Muse: Silas
Fandom: The Da Vinci Code
current mood:  annoyed
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| Thursday, September 10th, 2009
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6:36 pm - Theatrical Muse Topic: Madness?
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There are some who would say that I am mad merely because of my faith. They would call me a fanatic, an extremist, because of the corporal mortification, devotion and service that I practice.
But that is not madness at all! Thanks to Manuel Aringarosa and the Lord our Heavenly Father, I am saved! I have a home now because of belonging to Holy Mother Church and Opus Dei. Christ and the Blessed Virgin are my guides, teaching me humility and patience. Bishop Aringarosa shows me goodness and compassion, teaching me to serve my brothers and sisters – the whole human race – with an open heart.
No, intense belief in God is not madness. It is, however, in my opinion, madness to know of God’s great mercy and forgiveness, and to spurn them. Why go on living a life of sin and misery when one can discover the bliss that is repentance and surrendering oneself to Jesus? Why?
Words: 158
Muse: Silas
Fandom: The Da Vinci Code
current mood: calm
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| Thursday, August 27th, 2009
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6:14 pm - Theatrical Muse Topic: Crushed
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Crushed tomatoes made a beautiful vivid red in the gleaming stainless steel saucepan; the very sight and scent of them made Silas’s mouth water. Sternly he rebuked himself for his weakness, and instinctively flexed his thigh, having forgotten that he was not wearing his cilice.
I must not think of food greedily, Silas told himself. I must think of it gratefully, as a blessing from the Lord. And it is not merely for my own pleasure that I am preparing this delicious sauce for tonight’s meal. It is to delight the Bishop, for he is someone who deserves good things.
Silas added herbs and other seasonings to the pot of simmering tomatoes, even a dash of fresh chilli and a sprinkle of cracked black pepper. Just enough to bring a hint of spicy goodness to the palate, and not so much as to overly heat the dish.
He tried to suppress the feelings of pride that welled up within him as the sauce bubbled on the stove – he was sure that the Bishop would truly enjoy that night’s dinner. And of course, Silas lived not only to serve God, but his beloved mentor too.
Words: 195
Muse: Silas
Fandom: The Da Vinci Code
current mood:  busy
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| Tuesday, August 11th, 2009
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7:33 pm - Theatrical Muse Topic: Talk about the weather
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The sun is shining today, and I am so grateful and happy.
I am grateful and happy when it rains, too, for the earth is being nourished by the Lord’s healing waters. But there is something so lovely about a blue sky and fluffy clouds. Especially after it has just rained, and when there is a rainbow in the sky. Like the truly magnificent one that was outside this morning, when I was running an important errand for my mentor, Bishop Manuel Aringarosa. Rainbows remind me of the Biblical story of Noah, and the end of the Great Flood, and God’s promise to the world.
Noah of the Ark – the Bishop told me that Noah was an albino, just like me. And that I am meant for some great purpose in the Lord’s service, like Noah was. I do hope that I will be worthy of that purpose when God calls me.
Words: 153
Muse: Silas
Fandom: The Da Vinci Code
current mood:  happy
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| Tuesday, July 28th, 2009
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6:45 pm - Theatrical Muse Topic: News Item
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There is a story in the news that made me very sad indeed.
I heard it from my mentor, Bishop Aringarosa, who as a leader of Opus Dei has more interaction with the world outside than I do as a mere numerary.
It was about a woman who was so depressed that she ended her own life and the lives of her children.
I wish that I could have helped her. But all that I can do now is pray for her. I hope that she had a chance to repent and confess her sins to God before she drew her last breath – though I feel doubtful. And those poor, poor children! If I had tears enough I would weep for them.
So many people have lost their way, lost their faith in the Lord. If they could only embrace the truth and love that is Our Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ in their darkest hour, they would lose their despair and be comforted, as I have been.
Words: 171
Muse: Silas
Fandom: The Da Vinci Code
current mood:  sad
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| Thursday, July 16th, 2009
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9:38 pm - Theatrical Muse Topic: Take someone out
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I suppose this may sound a frivolous thing to want, something not befitting of a monk who has taken vows of chastity, poverty and obedience – but I occasionally wonder what it would be like to take Manuel Aringarosa, the man who saved me and who has been my beloved mentor for so many wonderful years – out shopping.
Yes, shopping. A simple day spent in his company, just wandering around the city together and purchasing things. It matters not what we’d buy – perhaps some items for donating to one of the many Catholic church charities. Or food for some special occasion – but it’s the experience of being with my mentor like that and just doing these things that I truly crave. Walking slowly with him, taking in the sights and talking… it would be a relaxing and almost blissful few hours.
I hope that I’m not being too much of a sinner for wanting this.
Words: 154
Muse: Silas
Fandom: The Da Vinci Code
current mood: contemplative
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| Wednesday, July 1st, 2009
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9:49 pm - Theatrical Muse Topic: Cheer someone up
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It’s very rare that I am called upon to cheer people up, although I willingly do it when I am able to.
The best comfort I can offer anyone, of course, is hope for their immortal souls. And there is hope out there for everyone – anybody can be saved by belief in God the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost, and turning one’s life over to goodness, prayer, self-mortification and service to one’s fellow human beings.
Whenever I am called to do so, I spread this message of peace, love and hope. Although I am not a priest, merely a monk and a numerary of Opus Dei, I gladly will tell anyone who asks me about God and His eternal mercy and forgiveness.
Sometimes, by simple human trust, tenderness and compassion I have been able to offer comfort to those who need it. Even to my beloved mentor, Bishop Manuel Aringarosa.
Words: 152
Muse: Silas
Fandom: The Da Vinci Code
current mood: content
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| Friday, June 19th, 2009
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9:08 pm - Theatrical Muse Topic: Prison
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I have been to prison, and it was one of the saddest times in my life. It was the time when I almost gave up all hope. I did not yet believe in God, so I was desolate and without any solace.
Murder was the crime that sent me there. I was desperately hungry, so I stole food from a ship. Two sailors caught me, and began to beat me. They smelled of beer, frightening me and reminding me of my alcoholic father who made my childhood a misery, so I fought back and killed one of them.
Twelve years I spent behind bars. I learned of violence and anger, rape and abuse. Prison was a living hell.
But thanks to the miracle of an earthquake, I escaped and was able to make my way to freedom. To Spain, where I met a young priest called Manuel Aringarosa. I saved him from a violent attack, and he saved my soul and helped me dedicate myself to the Lord and the Church.
Strangely enough, it was prison that led to my ultimate freedom.
Words: 182
Muse: Silas
Fandom: The Da Vinci Code
current mood: sad
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| Friday, June 12th, 2009
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11:03 pm - Theatrical Muse Topic: Breaking the Law
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I mostly believe in keeping to the law, since before my redemption I was a lawless, sinful individual. Before Manuel Aringarosa helped bring me to God, I was weak and easily swayed by wrath. All I could do was feel sorry for myself and be angry, taking on the role of ghost and outcast that I was assigned by the small of mind.
But now I have found the true path, the Way of Opus Dei. Jesus Christ is my Lord, and I believe in keeping to the true Way of the Law, the Ten Commandments given to us by God in the Bible.
However, there are rare circumstances in which I will break the law.
I would steal to feed the starving, and I would kill to protect the innocent. I don’t care what happens to my own worthless body, but I would do anything to save my beloved Manuel. He is a good man, a true Christian, and for him I would make any sacrifice, however great.
Words: 169
Muse: Silas
Fandom: The Da Vinci Code
current mood: busy
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| Tuesday, June 2nd, 2009
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10:39 pm - Theatrical Muse Topic: Forced Out
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Yes, there is somewhere I was once forced out of. It was my home town, in fact, the city of Marseilles in France. The city where I was born. The only home I had ever known, though it too proved itself hostile to me because everyone there, like so many in other places thereafter, considered me a ghost because of my albinism. They called me a ghost with the eyes of a devil…
I was only twelve years of age, and I attacked a girl who was older than me, because she mocked me and attempted to steal my food. It was wrong of me to do what I did, I know that now, but I was desperate. I was angry, and I was starving.
For this crime I was exiled from my birthplace, told never to return. I moved down the coast to Toulon after that, and became a drifter between seaports. But not until many years later did I ever find peace… from the time I was driven from my first home till I was saved by Manuel Aringarosa, my life was like hell in its misery.
I am so fortunate to have found God and be free of that sorrow now!
Words: 204
Muse: Silas
Fandom: The Da Vinci Code
current mood: sad
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| Friday, May 15th, 2009
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9:09 pm - Theatrical Muse Topic: Funeral Arrangements
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The arrangements for my funeral will be, I hope, humble and simple, in accordance with my wishes and with my station as a monk, a numerary of Opus Dei. A plain Catholic ceremony with all the necessary rites to ensure the passage of my soul to its eternal home with our Heavenly Father, the Lord God. For I am His faithful, humble child, deeply repenting of every evil thing I have done whilst on Earth, and only wishing to end my days as His servant, living and dying according to His divine will.
I will be buried, I presume, in an unadorned plot marked only with a small cross, in the Opus Dei graveyard, as other numeraries tend to be. I am not so much concerned with the fate of my body as that of my soul, so that is why I strive toward goodness while here on Earth.
Manuel Aringarosa calls me his angel, but I am but a man, oh Lord! Help me to serve Thee always, Heavenly Father!
Words: 171
Muse: Silas
Fandom: The Da Vinci Code
current mood: calm
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| Thursday, April 30th, 2009
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7:51 pm - Theatrical Muse Topic: What do you think?
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I think, no, not just think, I know, that I am a very grateful and happy man to be where I am now. Safe in the knowledge that my soul has been rescued from an eternity in Hell. Thanks to Manuel Aringarosa, I am now a monk, a numerary of Opus Dei, living a life of prayer, corporal mortification and service. I am no longer the wretched sinner with a heart full of bitterness who caused so much harm to others. Now I live to serve God and my fellow human beings. Christ has entered my life, and I am filled with love and repentance for my sins.
I think that anybody can know the bliss that I now have in my life. All they have to do is ask God’s forgiveness for their sins and no longer live in the wicked ways of the past. God can forgive any sin, no matter how big, as long as we are truly repentant. We are all His children, and He loves us.
Words: 171
Muse: Silas
Fandom: The Da Vinci Code
current mood: hopeful
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| Tuesday, April 14th, 2009
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2:49 pm - Theatrical Muse Topic: What are you wearing?
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What am I wearing? Why, what I always wear, of course.
A woolen robe, a simple monk’s robe. Provided by Opus Dei. I no longer am permitted to wear ordinary street clothing since taking monastic vows. The garment symbolizes my commitment to the Church. It displays simplicity and a lack of ostentation, a turning of my back upon worldly vanities.
I wear sandals on the rare occasions I go outside of the Opus Dei buildings. These too are simple and plain. Nothing we wear as Opus Dei numeraries could be called aesthetically beautiful – all beauty is in the sacrifices we make by accepting chastity, poverty and humility as our lot in life, in order to serve God and our brothers and sisters.
And for at least two hours a day – sometimes more, if I feel especially sinful – I wear my cilice. The spiked implement that I bind upon my thigh, to remind me of the suffering and pain our Lord Jesus Christ went through for us miserable, sin-enslaved human beings.
Words: 170
Muse: Silas
Fandom: The Da Vinci Code
current mood:  cold
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| Friday, April 3rd, 2009
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8:36 pm - Theatrical Muse: Only child?
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As far as I know, yes, I am an only child. I’m my mother’s only son, at any rate. I don’t know if my father slept around before he met my mother to get other progeny, and I don’t care. I still feel rage and anger at my father for killing my beloved Maman, and although I have prayed over and over again for the grace of God to be granted, for me to be able to forgive my father, I have failed and been unable to do so completely. I have mortified my flesh again and again, and spent hour upon hour on my knees in prayer, but it still hasn’t happened yet. I do want it to, especially since it would make my spiritual father and mentor, Bishop Aringarosa, very happy indeed.
My father didn’t want me. I’m albino, after all, and he saw me as cursed and abnormal. He blamed my mother for my birth, and hated her for loving me. But I love her, always, and hate him for killing her. I wish I could forgive, oh Lord, how I wish I could!
Words: 187
Muse: Silas
Fandom: The Da Vinci Code
current mood: thoughtful
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8:29 pm
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God has really, truly blessed me.
current mood: grateful
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| Friday, March 20th, 2009
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9:42 pm - Theatrical Muse Topic: Most Dreaded Question
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I suppose if there is a question I most dread, it would have to do with my origins. My childhood. Where do you come from, Silas? Who did you use to be? What made you the man you are today?
I do not like to talk about my past. I lived a life of sin and misery, shunned for my difference, mocked and hated. There was a childhood mostly spent on the streets. I was violent and angry. That violence, that rage, led me eventually to becoming a murderer. And then I was imprisoned for long, desolate years.
Were it not for the earthquake, I would be imprisoned still. And I never would have been able to escape and find Manuel Aringarosa. The man who taught me about God and persuaded me to join Opus Dei. The man who saved my life and my soul.
This man, the man I call Father, is the only one I feel comfortable talking about the past with.
Words: 164
Muse: Silas
Fandom: The Da Vinci Code
current mood:  scared
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